Etiquette Tip with Etiquette Speaks: Leave a Proper Message

We live in a time where people often assume that a simple “missed call” notification is enough of a signal that they have reached out to you. It isn’t. In fact, failing to leave a message is both discourteous and a missed opportunity.

Whether you’re calling for business, friendship, or family, extending the courtesy of leaving a message shows that you respect the other person’s time and value clear communication.

Why It Matters for All Ages

For Students and Young Adults

Learning to leave a proper message builds confidence and sets you apart as responsible and thoughtful. In an age of quick texts and social media, this simple courtesy shows maturity and professionalism—skills that will carry you into job opportunities, internships, and adult relationships. A hiring manager or professor is much more likely to respond favorably when you’ve left a clear message rather than just a “mystery missed call.”

For Adults

In both personal and professional life, clarity matters. A missed call with no context leaves others guessing and delays progress. On the other hand, a well-crafted message allows the recipient to prioritize, prepare, and respond effectively. It’s the difference between leaving someone hanging and moving a conversation forward with intention.

For Older Adults and Elders

Courtesy in communication is timeless. For many in older generations, leaving a message is not only expected but also a sign of respect. It acknowledges that the person you called deserves to know who reached out, why, and how to respond. Continuing this practice helps bridge generational gaps and preserves the dignity of thoughtful, respectful interaction.

How to Leave a Proper Message

✅ Identify Yourself – Never assume your number is saved. Always state your complete name.

✅ Share Your Reason – Be clear about why you called. Is it urgent? Informational? A follow-up?

✅ Provide a Return Path – Offer your number, email, or preferred way to get back in touch.

✅ Keep It Brief but Complete – Aim for clarity, not chatter. A concise, thoughtful message demonstrates professionalism and care.

The Takeaway

Communication isn’t complete until the other person knows your intent and how to respond. A missed call is not a conversation—it’s an interruption. A message, however, is an invitation to connect.

And here’s the key: whether you’re 16, 36, or 76, this small act of leaving a message is one of the simplest yet most powerful ways to show respect, build trust, and maintain strong relationships. Courtesy never goes out of style.

Navigating Social Etiquette: My Connection with Belle at Beyoncé’s Cowboy Carter Tour

Attending a major concert is thrilling. From the parking lot to the stadium seats, the air is filled with energy and excitement of seeing your favorite artist perform live. But for some, especially those attending solo, engaging with strangers can feel intimidating. As a Certified Etiquette Coach, I've learned that social etiquette is not just about following rules; it involves making connections and building relationships with others.

I'll share my own experience that will highlight the value of breaking the ice. Last night, I was in New Jersey at the MetLife Stadium for the opening night of Beyoncé's Cowboy Carter Tour on the east coast. It had rained all day and continued to rain, as most concert goers waited in the stadium halls for the rain to end and the concert to start. Whichever came first, we were ready to make it to our seats quickly.

While waiting, I started up a conversation with a woman named Belle, and asked if she was from New Jersey. It turns out that she was in town from Brazil, staying in NYC for her birthday. How exciting was that! I learned that this was her first Beyonce concert and I proceeded to tell her about my experience at the Renaissance Tour in Paris and showed her pictures and videos from it. A simple question opened the door to an enriching exchange that made my concert experience that much more memorable.

This encounter underscored a key aspect of social etiquette: the ability to approach someone new with openness and kindness. Connecting with others does not have to be intimidating, even in a crowded venue. Instead of staying in our comfort zones, we should embrace the excitement of meeting new people.

The Art of Making Connections

Connecting with new people at social events can seem frightening, but it's also incredibly rewarding. Here are two solid tips to help foster meaningful connections, just like I did with Belle:

1. Start with Small Talk

   
   

Small talk might feel overly simplistic, but it lays the groundwork for deeper conversations. A straightforward question like, "Are you from around here?" can expose surprising common ground. Asking Belle about her roots led us to share our mutual love for Beyoncé's music and personal stories related to it.

Small talk lightens the atmosphere and reduces hesitations, allowing both parties to engage more comfortably. For instance, did you know that 62% of people feel relieved when they make small talk in social situations? It really can lead to unforgettable connections.

2. Share Your Experiences

Personal storytelling enriches conversations and establishes familiarity. For example, I recounted my experiences attending the Renaissance Tour, providing not only joy but also cultural insights I gained from that trip. This practice invites the other person to share their stories, further strengthening your bond.

When Belle reflected on her adventures traveling to New York for the concert, I discovered her love for music and culture, reinforcing our connection. Sharing authentically leads to meaningful rapport and unexpected discoveries.

Building Connections Beyond Concerts

Many people share insecurities when it comes to starting conversations with strangers. The good news is that an open heart and mind can significantly enhance social interactions. Approaching others with kindness and genuine interest creates an inviting environment.

In my conversation with Belle, my enthusiasm for the concert and curiosity about her thoughts fostered a welcoming atmosphere. A warm smile and positive attitude can go a long way in breaking down barriers and nurturing new friendships.

Embracing New Opportunities

Attending events alone can feel overwhelming, but it also presents incredible opportunities for growth and connection. My encounter with Belle at the Beyoncé concert reminded me of the importance of taking that first step. Embracing new relationships can enrich our lives significantly.

As a certified etiquette coach, I encourage you to apply these tips at your next event. Keep in mind that everyone is there to enjoy themselves, and you might meet someone who becomes a positive part of your life—just like Belle did for me.

The next time you find yourself waiting for a concert to begin or relaxing amidst a crowd, take a deep breath and reach out! The world is filled with fascinating individuals eager to connect.

One of the sickest moments during the concert was Beyonce floating past and over us in a car to get closer to her fans. This felt magical!

harassment & abuse within the context of Social Etiquette

I don't know that anyone would incorporate harassment and abuse within a discussion on social etiquette, but it made perfect sense to me as I thought about using a recent encounter with harassing behavior for good. I vacillated about publicly discussing this but October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month and the number of abuse cases are on a rapid rise in our current COVID environment. I felt compelled to address the seriousness of this issue and could not deny its direct impact upon the men, women and children that I service in my business. To that end, going forward, I decided to include a segment on harassment and abuse into our Social Etiquette curriculum.

I was recently harassed by someone I knew and I worked with law enforcement to address it. I strongly believe that no one has the right to forcibly occupy space in your life and create toxicity where there should be peace. You decide. You choose who has a front row seat in the story of your life. Unfortunately, this subject matter is not always addressed publicly or privately. But I've decided to talk about it because it can't be ignored as I work with people. So, in addition to discussing proper introductions, alternatives to handshakes, cell phone etiquette, grooming, networking and building partnerships; we will also discuss and bring awareness to harassing and abusive behavior so that we can continue to empower men, women and children with what they need to show up as the best version of themselves possible.

In my business as an Etiquette Consultant, I've decided to take up courage and have the uncomfortable conversations in a safe environment because volatile issues unaddressed, worsen and explode. So, as we continue to work at being cognizant of how we show up in social and business settings, let's remember this quote by Joseph B. Wirthlin, "The true greatness of a person . . . is evident in the way he or she treats those with whom courtesy and kindness are not required." Let's be great people who are kind, courteous and respectful to all.